And now...

A useless tribute to the Monty Python

Spam, spam, spam, lovely spaaam... Do you really know these guys ? Nah, I bet you can just remember some shots of "Life of Brian" or the dead parrot sketch. Well, why don't you check this out :

Why the hell does this page contain one lame site ? Mainly two reasons :

I'm free to add as much uselessness as I want in my pages, so go to hell.
I tell you, baby. This is the real stuff about those weirdos (right from Australia, too...) Once you've looked at it, all the other Python sites will seem very poor... you can take my word for it.

Still, you can enjoy a rare issue : an article from Prof. D.P. Gumby, which is presented below (the article, not the professor, you dummy !) and gives you a slight idea of the general silliness that you may encounter throughout the Python's pages.

Humanities Projects in the Expanding Library Situation of the Future

A paper by Prof. D.P. Gumby of the Institute of Hitting Yourself on the Head with Walls*

presented by Michael Palin, Head Keeper, the D.P. Gumby Memorial Brain Park

This paper was especially written by Mr. Gumby and his doctors for the State Library of Pennsylvania, Harrisburg, and was delivered in front of an univited audience at the North Oxford Waste Reprocessing Depot in April of 1981.

Good evening. (Shouts of "Get away from that waste -- it's toxic !") I'd like to talk today about the most efficient, cost-effective use of a coordinated, integrated program of applied structuring of humanities facilities in the libraries of the future. But I can't because I don't understand any of the words... the words... the words. (Here Professor Gumby became emotional and began to strike the side of his head sharply and repeatedly with his right foot)

...That's always the trouble isn't it... Words ! Words just bore the underpants off people. All people want is a wall to bang their head against. That's the trouble with libraries -- they go and stack books against the wall, just to stop people banging their heads against them. If only libraries would wake up to the fact that everyone in the future is only going to be interested in bricks. How big they are. Where they come from. How much they cost, and -- most important of all -- how quickly can you make them into a wall to bang your head against ? Only when these questions are answered will the libraries of the future begin to earn the enormous state submarines (he probably meant "subsidies" -- Vince) (or "sausages" -- Prof. Enid Gumby) that are poured into them by the wretched taxpayer.

I saw a book in the library the other day marked "Thoughts". What good is that to anybody ? Who wants to know about what other people think and do and say and hope for and love and write and paint and create ? Eurggggghh !

I tell you, when I hear the word "culture" I reach for my wall. Let's keep libraries parcit... prasti... practical !

*Believed to be the shortest paper ever delivered on any subject, apart from Prof. N.Z. Gumby's excellent "History of the World in One Grunt".

Metal | VFE '95 | Fancy links

Back to the spamless homepage